


before those hands pulled me from the earth

by SoDoRoses (FairyChess)



Series: Ghost Janus AU [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Fluff, Ghost Deceit | Janus Sanders, Ghost Hunters, M/M, Mutual Pining, Paranormal, didnt know if i had to tag MCD for a ghost alskdjklj, like 2 sex jokes, no one dies but jan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 23:22:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29583702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairyChess/pseuds/SoDoRoses
Summary: Five times Remus tried to touch Janus, and one time he did
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil/Creativity | Roman/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Series: Ghost Janus AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2173473
Comments: 39
Kudos: 247





	before those hands pulled me from the earth

**Author's Note:**

> okay you know that post that says a ghost x living person pairing is immune to bury your gays because if the living one dies they just vibe as ghosts? I said that gave me dukeceit vibes and then got possessed by this motherfucker and wrote it in a single day aslkdjaklsjd
> 
> thank you to @trivia-goddess for beta-reading 7000+ words of spooky fluff

_One_

Remus was buying a house.

Which one of his brother’s boyfriends, Logan, had been astonished by when he’d said it, saying it was “wildly out of character” because Remus abhorred doing grown-up shit like taxes and budgeting and dressing in clothes without holes.

And then Roman had deadpanned that Remus had been looking exclusively at houses that were purportedly haunted.

Today’s contender was a turn-of-the-century duplex, with a conveniently clear and easy-to-research history. The house had been owned by the Hewitt family, and their adult son Janus had contracted Spanish flu and died in the house. He was even supposedly buried on the property, but Remus couldn’t find any confirmation or records on that, just hearsay from people who’d lived there after.

So the most obvious explanation was that if the house was haunted, it was probably this Janus character.

But Remus knew better – hauntings were rarely so cut and dry, and it could be a poltergeist rather than a full-blown spirit, or hell it could even be a demon, that would be _oodles_ of fun. He wasn’t going to go into it assuming the haunting was Janus, or even that the house was haunted at all. So far, the houses he’d looked at had come up woefully spooky-free.

Remus’s real estate agent, Mindy, seemed to be both wary and excited to see him. Remus figured she was happy to have someone to look at her least desirable houses, but she also seemed slightly alarmed by everything he did, which he was pretty used to.

He’d asked her to do all of his walkthroughs at night if possible, and she’d obliged him this time. The sky was twilight blue as Remus grabbed his spirit box and took the stone steps from the sidewalk up to the walkway two at a time, coming to a stop in front of Mindy and grinning.

“Ready!” he said, flipping on the spirit box.

Mindy eyed it warily.

“… Right,” she said, unlocking the door and leading him inside, “Well, it’s been converted into a duplex obviously, but if you don’t want to rent out the other side it should be easy enough to knock the walls out, or even just add one door-”

Mindy chatted about the house’s features – two bedrooms and one and a half baths on each side, gas furnace, on and on – while Remus only half listened, one ear on her and one on the spirit box. So far, just static.

“You mind if I walk around on my own for a bit?” said Remus cheerfully.

Mindy eyed the box again, slowly nodding.

“The owner doesn’t live here, and it’s between tenants, so there’s nothing you shouldn’t touch. Just- don’t break anything.”

“Me, break something?” said Remus, “Minds, it’s like you don’t know me at all.”

Mindy grimaced, and Remus laughed, rushing up the stairs to walk around up top.

There was a widow’s walk up here that had the most reports of apparitions. if Remus was gonna see anything anywhere in the house, it was here.

“Hello?” he called cheerfully, “Are there any spirits here willing to speak with me?”

The box cycled, and Remus didn’t hear anything.

“Is Janus here?” he tried, “Will you talk to me?”

“ **No** ,” hissed the box, “ **Go** **away** ,”

“Holy _shit!”_ exclaimed Remus.

An intelligent response on his _second try?_ And then a full, if short, sentence! What the fuck!

“I’m Remus!” he exclaimed, vibrating with excitement, “No, you aren’t Janus, or no, you don’t wanna talk to me?”

Remus shook himself, already gearing up to rephrase – that was too complicated of a question, he knew better than to go for more than yes-and-no-

“ **Talk** **to** **you** ,” spat the box.

“Fucking _shit!”_ shouted Remus, “I can’t believe I’ve got the world’s sassiest and smartest ghost in here, holy fuck. This is an actual full-blown conversation, good gorey, okay, okay- so you are Janus, then?”

There was a longer pause this time, and Remus held his breath.

“ **Yes** ,”

Remus actually jumped slightly.

“Holy fuck, holy fuck, holy fuck,” said Remus, “Janus, you’ve made my fucking day- week, month, year, oh mother of _mothman_ , you are just, fucking, literally just talking to me! This is so fucking _cool_ ,”

Remus prompted the ghost- Janus??? - with a few more questions, but he didn’t get anything else. He wasn’t too disappointed – that had been a _lot_ of genuine conversation, and it had probably sapped the ghost of pretty much any energy it had.

Remus turned around to head back down – and _there_ in the corner of his eye, the delicate outline of a hand, partial apparition, partial _fucking apparition-_

On autopilot, Remus lunged for the hand, but it vanished before he even got close, his hand closing around nothing but cold, empty air.

Thundering down the stairs, grinning his head off, Remus skidded to a stop in front of Mindy, startling her into a jump.

“Hey, Minds, remember all that hokey shit about feeling the perfect house in my heart?”

“… Yes?” said Mindy, looking cautiously excited.

Remus beamed.

“This is the one. It’s _perfect_.”

—

As the strange man and the damned real estate agent left the house, chattering about how the strange man was going to buy it, Janus watched them go, feeling… well, strange.

Most people who had heard the house was haunted and still wanted to buy it were people who didn’t actually believe it was haunted. But the man – Remus – he’d seemed to know Janus was there from the start, believed he was there. Spoke to Janus. Seemed… excited to talk to him.

God. How long had it been since someone wanted to talk to him? Decades, easily.

Janus couldn’t help but indulge Remus the next few times he came to his house. It became slightly easier to use the little screaming machine the more he did it, though he could still only manage short sentences, and it was frustratingly vague. Remus never seemed to mind, filling his half of the conversation with endless, enthusiastic chatter, seeming absolutely delighted to be speaking to Janus in spite of the fact that Janus was a truly abysmal conversation partner.

Time passing was something of a frustratingly elusive sensation for Janus. He had no idea how long it typically took for someone to move into a new house, or how long it had been since Remus had said he was going to buy it, but he didn’t find himself dreading his new roommate like he had when every other previous tenant had moved in.

The period since they’d split the house in two had been by far the worst. They’d cut his room in half, which he’d found incredibly annoying and rude, and there had almost always been two sets of people living in the house, and not for nearly as long as the previous era of people buying it had stayed.

For some reason, renters didn’t seem to want to stay in the house very long.

_Can’t imagine why,_ thought Janus sarcastically.

The constantly rotating cast of irritating, skittish families had been exhausting, especially when Janus would find himself fading to almost nothing for a few weeks and waking up to find the entire house full of new furniture and new bodies and new _everything_ and if there was one thing Janus hated it was new things, strange things, things it gave him headaches to try and understand like washing machines and computers and lights that could be turned off by talking to them like something out of an Asimov novel.

But Remus – Remus came several times before he moved in, greeting Janus politely and sharing fun facts about himself and being generally cordial, and while Janus couldn’t be sure, he got the feeling it had been quite a bit longer than was normal for Remus to wait to move in. Like he was waiting for something.

Maybe even… waiting on Janus.

And so, the next time Remus arrived, and set up his little box on the kitchen counter and began speaking, Janus summoned all his energy and tapped the little box to speak first.

“ **Welcome** ,” he said, as clear as he could, though it always came out slightly screeching and distorted by the screaming box. Janus would have to practice trying to speak out loud on his own, because this thing was horrendous and frustrating and frankly, ugly.

But it was worth it for the way Remus’s face split into a bright, blinding grin.

“Hey, Jay!” he said enthusiastically. “You’re not usually so chatty right off the bat. Didja miss me?”

“ **Yes** ,” said Janus, watching Remus’s face as he waited for it to come through the box.

Remus gaped.

“… Yeah?” he said quietly, “Missed you too, Jay,”

Janus felt a bit like he might be smiling himself, and thought that perhaps, this one new thing was not so bad.

—

_Two_

On move-in day, Remus brought in the most important things first.

So he set up the camera system and the thermometers in each room, along with an EMF recorder in the widow’s walk and the two bedrooms that shared a wall, which seemed to be the spots Janus had the easiest time talking in. It wouldn’t be feasible to leave the spirit box on all the time, but Remus was going to try and catch any glimpse of Janus he could even when it was off.

“Yeah, yeah, I told you, I’m just doing my gear right now,” Remus spoke into the phone squished between his shoulder and ear as he hooked up the camera in the kitchen. “You’d just get in the way.”

“Gee, thanks,” deadpanned Roman, “When will you be done then? Pat will absolutely cry if we let you move in completely by yourself.”

“Just come tomorrow, that’s when Remy is gonna lend me the truck to start bringing my actual shit,” said Remus, “And there’s two weeks until my rent’s up on my apartment anyway, I don’t exactly have to rush.”

“Well at least you had that much sense,” muttered Roman.

“I have a ton of sense.”

“You moved into _the_ most haunted house you’ve ever successfully recorded something in,” said Roman, “On purpose. You chat with the ghost. You think it’s your friend.“

"Hey!” said Remus, grabbing the phone to put it more firmly against his ear, “He, first of all, not it. Jay _is_ my friend, don’t be an asshole.”

There was an abrupt hissing sound from the other room, and Remus stilled.

“Hold on,” he said, cutting off whatever lecture Roman had been in the middle of that he hadn’t been paying attention to.

Moving into the living room, Remus found that Janus – because it could only have been Janus – had slid his box containing the camera set-up Remus hadn’t yet gotten to in this room from one corner to another.

“That was a regular poltergeist move, Jay!” he exclaimed.

“Oh my god you’re talking to it,” groused Roman.

“He, Roman,” Remus corrected again, “Okay Jay, I’ll put the camera in that corner instead. I’ll break out the spirit box later and you can tell me why you even care.”

There was no response – Remus could dream though, couldn’t he? - and he moved back to finish in the kitchen.

“Fine, he,” said Roman, “He who is dead, and probably not all that there, and totally _might_ go full The Poltergeist on your unsuspecting sleeping body and I will have to sit here and watch my brother experience the plot of a horror movie from a third-person perspective.”

“Nah,” said Remus, “Jay’s cool. Kinda sweet, even, if a little snarky, but that’s hardly gonna be a problem for yours truly.”

Roman paused for a long moment.

“Remus,” he said, clearly suspicious.

“What?”

“I swear to god you had better not be developing a crush on this ghost, you useless monsterfucker.”

Remus sputtered.

Someone spoke on Roman’s end of the line to indistinct for him to make out, and Roman laughed.

“Yes dear Skeptic-als, I’m aware you don’t believe in ghosts,” said Roman, “When Remus is ready to let us over to his new place I’m sure you will delight in raining on the parade.”

“Oh, trust me, Jay is gonna make a believer out of your skeptic boy-toy.” said Remus, “He talks to me just like anyone, there’s absolutely no way to explain it away.”

There was another sliding noise, this time in the back hall. Grinning, Remus followed it and found that Janus had again moved his box of equipment, this time toward the back door.

"Jay’s got opinions about the camera set up,” he said fondly.

“Stop calling him Jay, it’s _weird_ ,” whined Roman.

“Jay!” Remus called in a fit of whimsy, “Do you like your nickname? Knock once for no, twice for yes.”

And then, miraculously, there was an almost immediately double knock, which sounded like it came from inside the wall just inside the kitchen.

“Fucking _sweet_ ,” he crowed.

“Oh my god,” said Roman, “I heard that. You’re insane. I can’t believe you’re going to live there on purpose.”

“Don’t be a chickenshit, Roman,” said Remus, crossing over the threshold and placing his hand on the spot he’d heard Janus’s knocks come from. It was a little chilled to the touch, and Remus could almost imagine Janus was still there, pressing his hand to the wall right alongside Remus.

“Where’s your sense of adventure?” he continued, running his thumb over the old, dry wallpaper and smiling to himself.

—

Remus’s… _equipment_ as he had been calling it set Janus’s teeth on edge, but Remus had explained that these were more devices like the screaming box, things that would help him to see and talk to and interact with Janus.

It was so much. Something in every room, and facing out into the yard where Janus knew somewhere his urn was buried, though he didn’t quite remember where.

Remus was doing everything he could, it seemed, to meet Janus properly. Janus had been practicing when Remus wasn’t there, because more than he’d wanted anything in decades, he wanted to properly talk to Remus.

Later in the evening, when Remus had set up a sleeping bag and a little indoor-camping area in Janus’s bedroom – or _half_ of his bedroom, he thought, itching with frustration again – he was looking through some of the first videos he’d managed to take.

“Wow,” he breathed, and Janus hovered over his shoulder trying to get a look at whatever it was he was seeing, “Ghostlights fucking everywhere, jeez. In every room, and a lot of them. You sure do move around a lot Jay.”

_Obviously,_ thought Janus fondly, _I was following you._

“But you seem to like this room best,” Remus muttered, “And the mirrored one on the opposite side-”

He stopped talking abruptly.

“Of course!” he exclaimed, “This house probably wasn’t a duplex when you lived here! These were probably one room!”

Janus startled, and Remus started pacing.

“I don’t know where I’d find the original floor plan, I probably can’t fix the whole house,” he muttered, fix, _fix_ he’d said, like Janus’s way was the right one, and oh was something terribly soft bubbling up in Janus’s chest.

“But this wall should be easy enough to knock out,” he continued, “Especially if it used to be one room anyway-”

Janus felt a burst of bright, dazzling energy, and he knocked firmly on the floor twice, hoping Remus would remember it had meant yes earlier today.

Remus absolutely beamed, turning and looking around the room with an expression of wonder.

“Yeah?” he said, eyes shining, “You want me to fix your room, Jay?”

Janus knocked twice again, louder.

Laughing in delight, Remus’s whole body wiggled with excitement.

“I will then,” he said firmly, “Consider the wall fucking gone, first thing on the agenda, bye-bye drywall.”

That bubbly, soft feeling rose, and Janus actually felt warm for the first time in – oh, had he ever even felt warm, since he died? Or even before that, when his body had been wracked with chills.

He focused on that warm feeling, putting all his focus into it, and spoke.

“Hello, Remus,” he said, watching Remus’s face light up even as he instantly felt drained and exhausted.

But Remus’s face lit up like the sun, and Janus couldn’t think it was anything but worth it.

—

_Three_

Living with Janus was almost like living with any other roommate.

Remus could call out across the house and almost always get an answer in response, which was so wildly, incredibly insane that he hadn’t even been able to tell Roman about it, and he’d gone back on his plan to document everything so he could take it public as proof of ghosts existence.

He couldn’t. Janus was special. Remus wasn’t even sure if he was something as mundane as a normal ghost, or if he was something completely unique, totally out of the norm.

And on the increasingly rare occasions Janus couldn’t call back, he’d knock to let Remus know he’d heard him, and Remus would switch to yes or no questions until Janus’s voice came back.

But Remus hadn’t seen him yet.

There had been more glimpses like that first day – shadows in the corner of Remus’s eyes, the shape of a wrist, the swirl of a coat disappearing around the corner of another doorway as Remus walked into the room. Remus was growing accustomed to the way each one set his heart pounding, fighting to keep the brilliantly excited tremble out of his voice every time he turned to the shape and greeted Janus, even after it had vanished from sight.

Remus wanted to see Janus so bad it regularly drove him to utter distraction.

(And it wasn’t like Remus was an idiot – the flip in his chest when Janus called out to him, the way his breath stuttered when he saw the glimpses, the way he ached to see Janus’s face like he was missing something desperately.

Yeah. Remus might be screwed.)

Those glimpses had been many and close together today - The full shape of a sleeve, something that might have been a wave, and a fraction of a moment Remus had thought he’d seen a face and his heart had nearly leapt into his throat. At one point Remus had been sure Janus was simply standing in a doorway, but when he turned to look it had been empty.

He didn’t point it out, no matter how much it was setting his hands shaking with anticipation. If Janus was trying, if he was doing it on purpose, pointing him out could have embarrassed him into stopping, or worse, made him feel bad if he couldn’t actually manage it today.

But still, Remus waited, and watched, and hoped.

It wasn’t anything like he thought it would be.

He simply walked into their bedroom – Remus slept there, the better to hear Janus at night, but it had been Janus’s first even if he didn’t sleep – and there was someone standing there, plain as day.

They stared at each other for a moment, and Janus – it had to be Janus, it _had to be_ \- Janus’s eyes widened a little as their eyes met.

“… Jay?” said Remus, voice cracking.

Janus’s eyes widened even further, face splitting into a smile as he nodded.

“Hi,” he said, the same voice Remus had been hearing for weeks.

“Wow,” breathed Remus, “Just- wow.”

Janus was a little see-through, and not quite gray-scale but certainly his colors were washed out toward silvery, and as Remus stared at him his cheeks began to shimmer ever so slightly.

Fuck. Was Janus blushing? He might be blushing.

(So screwed. So _unbelievably_ screwed.)

Remus crossed the room slowly, like Janus might startle, and reached out his hand for a shake.

Janus hesitated, and then reached back.

Janus’s hand passed right through his, and Remus got a shock of sensation, like dunking his hand in a bucket of ice water. Janus’s face fell.

“Hey,” said Remus soothingly, “It’s cool Jay. I’ll live without a handshake.”

Which was, maybe, possibly, not the best choice of words, and Remus regretted it for a fraction of a second before Janus’s face brightened and he _laughed_ , dazzling and half-echo- _y and beautiful and oh._

It was official. There was absolutely no denying the fact that Remus had definitely fallen like a sack of bricks from a third-story fucking window.

—

The more Janus appeared to Remus, the easier it became. On his best days, he didn’t have to appear at all, simply walked around the house visible without having to think much about it at all, and wasn’t that something wonderfully, beautifully novel?

It was almost heady, to sit with Remus, to spend time with him in silence and know that even when he didn’t speak Remus knew him, knew he was there, _cared_ that he was there.

_Wanted_ Janus there.

Janus started walking between the rooms of the house to find Remus, rather than simply appear. He spoke without prompting, asked him questions, told him things even when he hadn’t been asked.

“I hate your tablet,” he said one day, blurting it out as they sat on opposite sides of the room.

Remus looked up, quirking his brow in a way that seemed curious, but not annoyed.

“Do you know why?”

That was something they’d figured out, was that if they could identify what it was about an object that upset him, Remus could often explain it in such a way that it became less unfamiliar and therefore less frustrating.

“I’m not sure,” Janus said, “The laptop doesn’t bother me anymore.”

Remus hummed, tapping said tablet in his lap, considering.

“Could it be the touch screen?” he said, “Does my phone bother you too?”

Janus thought it over, compared them, and nodded.

“C’mere,” said Remus, “Maybe if I show you some of the gestures it’ll help.”

Walking across the room, Janus sat beside him, close enough that he could feel the heat radiating off of Remus’s body – another new novelty, that Janus had slowly been growing able to distinguish temperatures, even as he continued to suck all the heat out of the air around him like a sponge.

Remus demonstrated several gestures with the tablet, zooming in and out and double tapping and minimizing things. It helped a little, but what helped more was Remus explaining that the touch screen worked by detecting things that conducted electricity like a bare human finger, and Janus began to relax.

Janus let Remus’s voice wash over him, feeling warm, and real, and almost, almost alive.

—

_Four_

Okay so. Remus definitely had a crush on Janus.

A huge, life-altering crush, a crush that was like five inches _maybe_ from a full-blown L-word, so – okay. Remus was gonna have to figure that out.

It was Virgil who let him into their apartment, grumbling about it the whole time but not actually complaining, and Remus socked him on the arm as he passed on his beeline to Roman’s room.

Bursting through the door, he threw himself down on the bed with a dramatic groan.

Sighing, Roman turned in his desk chair and stared at him.

“I need your help,” said Remus.

“Of course you do,” said Roman, rolling his eyes.

“About sappy mushy-squishy feelings,”

Roman looked cautiously more interested.

“Oh?” he said, “And what paramour has caught your eye, exactly? You don’t have any coworkers, and you’ve become a huge homebody in my opinion, which is incredibly odd by the way.”

“I wanna ask Janus out.”

Roman stared.

Three seconds passed, then ten, and Remus bit his lip as almost a full minute went by before Roman spoke again.

“Get out,” he said calmly.

“Come on, Roman!” Remus exclaimed, “This is important-”

“Get out, get out, get out!” said Roman, covering his ears, “Nope, no, absolutely not, I’m not listening to this, I can’t hear you, this is _exactly_ like that road trip to West Virginia you dragged me on in high school because you wanted to seduce mothman-”

“It _isn’t!”_ said Remus, unintentionally shouting.

Roman opened his eyes, glaring at him.

“Janus is dead,”

“So?”

“So!” exclaimed Roman, “Haven’t you seen Corpse Bride? Death has parted you. He’s a glorified EMF reading, Remus!”

Janus was a little shy, which was insanely cute, so Remus wasn’t surprised that Roman still didn’t quite believe him when he said how really, genuinely real Janus seemed – Jay didn’t really come out when Remus had people over, only appearing when Remus was alone in a room and speaking in low tones right against Remus’s ear in a way that made him shiver.

“Please?” he croaked.

Roman glared harder for a long moment, before throwing his hands up in the air in defeat.

“Fine!” he exclaimed, “Fine, _fine_ , I will help you with this absolutely insane venture which I am preemptively telling you is going to horribly crash and burn and go down in glorious flames so I can say I told you so.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” said Roman haughtily, “But whatever. First, we eliminate the impossible. Can he leave the house?”

Remus paused.

“You know, I don’t actually know,” he said slowly, “I don’t think he’s ever tried?”

“Probably not then,” said Roman, “So you’ll have to come up with something you can do indoors, and he can’t eat or interact with anything except draining electronics, so you’re pretty much limited to Netflix movies-”

“Wait,” said Remus, bolting upright, “What if- what if he could leave the house? And eat?”

Roman furrowed his brow.

“Well, I have no idea how you would swing that,” he said, “If he’s incorporeal and bound to the house, without a body he can’t-”

Roman froze.

“No,”

“I’m gonna,”

“No, you are _not!”_ exclaimed Roman, “No, no, no, absolutely not, under no circumstances are you going to invite a disembodied voice in a spirit box to _possess_ you, _on_ _purpose_ , you insane-”

“I’m totally gonna,” said Remus, scrambling off the bed and bolting out the bedroom door, already vibrating with excitement.

“Stop! Remus, I swear to god, this is stupid even for you-”

“What did Remus do now?” said Virgil.

“He’s going to offer to let Janus possess him because he’s thirsty for ghost dick, apparently,” said Roman, exasperated.

“Right on,” said Virgil, fist-pumping.

“Virgil!”

“What?”

“Really,” said Logan, “This is truly getting ridiculous, Remus, I hardly think-”

“Yeah, yeah, you don’t believe Jay’s there, I’ve heard you, Cynic Center,” said Remus, “But considering I’m on my way to try and seduce him at the moment I’m not in the mood to listen to your lecture.”

Logan made an offended noise, but Remus was already at the door, scrambling to get his coat off the hook.

“This is a bad plan!” Roman called once more before sighing in defeat.

“This is the _best_ plan,” said Remus, grinning, before bolting out their front door and booking it back toward his house.

He had a ghost to seduce.

—

When Remus arrived home from the frustratingly vague “hanging with his brother,” Janus picked up on his nerves immediately.

He’d burst into the house with his usual enthusiasm, but then as soon as Janus had stepped out of the living room into the foyer to speak to him he’d clammed up, his body language closing off, shuffling nervously on his feet.

“… Remus?” he said cautiously.

“Yeah, Jay?”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah!” said Remus, a little too cheerfully, “Yeah, I’m- I’m good. Great, even.”

Janus gave him his most skeptical expression.

“Right,” said Remus, laughing and relaxing a little, “I guess nothing gets past you, huh Jay?”

Janus just gestured for him to continue.

Remus took a deep, uncharacteristically nervous breath, and let it out of pursed lips.

“I have an idea,”

“A dangerous pastime,” said Janus lightly, and he relaxed ever so slightly when it made Remus laugh and some of the tension leak out of the air.

“I was just – wondering- because I’d really like to-”

He paused, biting the inside of his cheek.

“Have you ever possessed anybody?” he blurted.

Whatever Janus had been expecting, it certainly hadn’t been that.

“Um- no, I can say as I have,” said Janus warily.

“Would you like to?”

Janus stared.

“… What.”

“Would you like to possess me?”

“Why would- why would I-”

“I was just thinking,” said Remus, talking quickly, “That we could- that you could, and then me and you could like- go somewhere, like a movie maybe, or eat some greasy street food and walk along the pier, or- you know.”

Janus didn’t have a heartbeat, or he _shouldn’t_ anyway, and yet his chest was thrumming with _something_ , some deep and impossibly warm and sounding embarrassingly close to the tattoo of a name, _Remus, Remus, Remus-_

“Remus,” he croaked, “Are you asking me on a date?”

Remus actually slumped in relief.

“Yeah,” he said, “Yeah, that’s- that’s exactly what I’m doing.”

“I’m dead,” said Janus, voice wobbling.

Tilting his head adorably, Remus gave him a little furrowed brow of confusion.

“So?”

Laughing a little hysterically, Janus crossed the room in three huge strides, and Remus’s arms opened, reaching for him, and Janus wanted to be held so badly he could almost already feel it, but instead-

Their chests met, and the room spun viciously. And Janus found himself facing the opposite direction.

“Oh,” he – they? - said.

“Holy shit,” and _that_ was definitely just Remus, but Janus had felt the shape and flow and voice of it with his own mouth.

“This is- interesting,” said Janus. Remus lifted his hand to touch their lips, and _that_ was certainly a sensation, so Janus ran his finger over the soft swell.

“This is _rad,_ ” breathed Remus.

Janus laughed, in Remus’s rich, booming baritone, so different from his own.

“So, what do you wanna do?” said Remus, bouncing them slightly, “We can go see a movie or go to the pier, like I said, or maybe a restaurant? Anything you want,”

Gently, Janus ran his hand down through the soft hair on Remus’s forearm, and then clasped their hands together, palm to palm in front of them.

“… Jay?” said Remus, suddenly quiet.

“Could we go out another time?” said Janus, voice shaking, “This is- a lot.”

“Yeah,” said Remus, even softer, “Yeah, Jay, of course. Do you want- we could put on some really soft pajamas. Or take a bubble bath.”

“ _No!”_ exclaimed Janus, feeling actual heat flood his cheeks in a blush, “Oh my goodness I’m not- taking a bath like this. But- pajamas sound nice.”

“You know we’re gonna have to get at least a little undressed to get in pajamas, right?”

Groaning, Janus made his way towards their bedroom, their heart thrumming, hands still clasped.

—

_Five_

Janus had been pretty good about avoiding anybody but Remus when they were invited over, so Remus wasn’t exactly expecting to have to introduce him to anyone any time soon.

He wasn’t entirely sure why Janus was so shy, but he figured a hundred years of being almost exclusively ignored or feared could maybe make anyone a little standoffish, so Remus certainly wasn’t going to push it.

Roman and his boyfriends were taking up the whole couch, squished together, and Remus had been banished to the chair in his own home. They were chatting about Logan’s dissertation, which was a mind-numbingly boring topic in Remus’s opinion so he couldn’t exactly be blamed for only paying attention to it with like a third of his brain.

Which is why it arrested one hundred percent of his attention the moment Janus walked out of the kitchen doorway, looking over his shoulder.

“Remus, dear, have you seen the silver mirror, my reflection is being spotty again and I think my hair is-”

Turning his head, Janus froze in the doorway, like he was startled to see other people. Which was… odd, seeing as Janus had always been intimately aware of all the life in the house, including the mice in the walls.

“… Hello,” said Logan, “Remus, you didn’t tell us you had another guest over.”

“No fucking way,” said Roman, gaping.

“What was that you said about your reflection?” said Virgil, voice strangled.

Janus stayed frozen for another moment, before simply winking out of existence.

Roman and Patton screamed, and Logan leapt up from the couch with an expression of sheer, unfiltered panic. Virgil looked torn between awe and terror.

“Calm down, you’re freaking him out!” Remus shouted over the din.

“ _I’m_ freaking _him_ , out!?” exclaimed Roman.

“Yeah, you are, so shut up, all of you!”

Remus herded them back onto the couch with a scowl, before turning and clearing his throat.

“Hey, Jay?” he said gently, “It’s really fine. They’re chuckleheads but they’re not gonna hurt you, it’s fine to come out.”

There was a wavering minute, long enough the Remus started to think Janus was gonna stay stubbornly invisible, but then the air in front of the wall opposite the couch shimmered and Janus reappeared.

“Hello,” he said quietly.

“Remus,” said Logan, strangled, “If you are somehow playing a practical joke on us I implore you to pull your figurative ‘gotcha’ now.”

“No practical joke,” said Remus, “Janus, this is Roman, my brother, and his collection of boyfriends, Virgil, Logan, and Patton. Chuckleheads, this is my boyfriend Janus,”

At which point Remus realized that in spite of the numerous possession-based dates they’d been on that was the first time he’d ever actually _used_ the word boyfriend, and he had just enough sense to get really worried really fast.

Sitting in the chair, Remus gestured for Janus to come closer.

Slow, almost ginger, Janus moved across the room and sat on the arm of Remus’s chair, smiling hesitantly.

“I’m Janus,” he said, “I’m dead, as you may have noticed. It’s a pleasure to meet you,”

“Likewise,” said Logan, his voice still choked with confusion and panic.

“… Well!” said Patton, bright and somehow both forced and genuine, “I can’t believe you’ve been hiding such a sweet boyfriend from us Remus! How long have you been together?”

“Since September,” said Janus immediately, and Remus’s chest filled with warmth at the fact that they apparently were on the exact same page in spite of the lack of verbal communication.

“Oh my _god_ tell me you did not actually go through with your batshit seduction via possession plan,” exclaimed Roman.

Janus’s face shimmered like a holograph, and Remus burst into laughter.

—

In spite of himself, Janus found that as the night went on, it was easy to relax.

Remus was so different than anyone who had ever lived in the house, or encountered Janus at all. Now that Janus had had a taste of what it felt like to be treated simply like another person, a friend, someone _loved_ again, after so long, he’d been dreading the possibility of returning to that cold, ignorant fear, if he revealed himself to anyone else.

And they had been afraid – at first. But the more Janus spoke, the more they relaxed, and the easier it became, to speak and exchange social pleasantries and feel – normal.

There was the slightest sting when Logan offered his hand to shake as they left, and Janus had to tell him it wasn’t possible – but it was small, compared to the warmth in his chest as Remus shut the door behind his retreating brother and friends and turned to grin at him.

“Jay,” he breathed, “That was amazing, you did _so_ good, did you see Logan’s _face?_ I’m gonna hold this over him for the rest of our lives.”

Smiling, Janus following Remus’s chattering figure up the steps to their room.

“So-” he said, leaning against the doorway, “It did go well, then?”

“Absolutely fantastic,” said Remus, “And-”

He hesitated, visibly steeling himself.

“I’m really proud of you, babe,” he said, sending a flare of heat to Janus’s face, “I know you were nervous about talking to anyone but me, and then it got sprung on you, but you rolled with it and you did really great.”

Janus couldn’t help but cover his face in embarrassment, and he heard Remus cross the room to him, cooing.

He wasn’t expecting to feel the faint, warm pressure of Remus’s hand passing through his, and slightly into his face. When he uncovered his eyes, he saw Remus frowning at the spot where his hand hovered, just inches away.

“You know you can’t touch me, Remus,” Janus said gently.

“Yeah, well,” said Remus, shrugging, “Doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop trying.”

And then he leaned in, slow and careful, and brushed his nose and mouth against Janus’s cheek.

It was so _warm_ , and both like and not quite like touching something while sharing Remus’s body, and also something uniquely all its own.

“I love you,” said Janus, so quiet it was barely more than a breath.

Inhaling sharply, Remus pulled away to look Janus in the eye, face shining.

“I love you, too.”

—

_Plus One_

“I’m only gonna be gone three days,” said Remus, setting his bag by the door to turn and face Janus.

“I know,” said Janus.

“And the others said they’d come see you every day, so we don’t wind up with you losing time like the last few times I went away for a while.”

“I know,”

“And I’m gonna leave the tablet face up and on the charger so feel free to watch whatever-”

“Remus!” laughed Janus, “I know. You’ve only told me everything about a dozen times. I did live in this house for a hundred years before you got here, I’m not completely helpless.”

Remus let out a slightly nervous laugh of his own.

“Yeah, I know,” he said, running his hand through his hair, “I just- I hate leaving you and coming back to find you’ve lost a bunch of time, it- it feels like I’m abandoning you or something.”

Janus gave him a soft smile, leaning on the wall.

“You aren’t,” he said softly, “I know you’re coming back. And you’ve got me wonderfully set up here. I’m hardly going to be pining away at the window, wondering when my husband shall return from the Great War.”

Remus laughed again, a little more genuinely.

“Right,” he said, “You’ll hardly notice I’m gone, will you?”

“Almost certainly not,” said Janus, grinning, “I will scarcely register your absence.”

Snorting, Remus stooped to grab his bag and heaved it over his shoulder, opening the front door.

“Alright,” he said, “See you on Monday. Love you,”

“Love you too,” said Janus.

Remus leaned in to press a quick, light kiss to Janus’s mouth. They separated with a little _smack_ , and Remus waved with his free hand.

“Bye, babe,” he said, walking out the door.

As Remus climbed into his car, he furrowed his brow.

He could have sworn he was forgetting something, but he couldn’t for the life of him figure out what it was.

Shrugging, he pulled out of his parking space and drove away.

—

Janus spent maybe ten minutes after Remus left staring at the door, mouth agape, the phantom press of Remus’s lips – lips, _lips,_ so warm and a little chapped and so _gentle_ where they’d touched his – leaving a barely-there aftertaste against his.

Hesitantly, Janus pressed his fingertips to his mouth.

He’d kissed him. Remus had _kissed_ him, and it had been _real_ , nothing ghostly or facsimile about it.

When Janus could finally bring himself to move, it was to the living room. He wasn’t sure what to do, in this strange After, but before he could overthink it he walked over and lifted the tablet into his hands.

It came effortlessly. Janus could move things, but rarely lift them. But this didn’t even feel difficult.

Janus set it down, and then focused on his hands and the desk.

His hand passed right through.

He tried lifting the tablet again, and it came up just as easy.

Janus spent maybe an hour like that, testing this new phenomenon on every object he could get ahold of in the house. It had suddenly become so effortlessly simple. When he wanted to touch things, he did. When he wanted to be incorporeal, he was.

Finally, he came back over to the tablet, lifting it from the side table and sitting on the couch with it held in front of him, the way he’d seen Remus do so many times. He managed to find the correct icon, clicking it, and then a picture of Virgil and Patton with Patton’s name next to it.

It rang for a moment, and then Patton answered.

“Remus, I know you want us to check on Janus but you _just_ left, and-”

“Hello, Patton,” said Janus.

Patton stared at him through the video call.

“Janus?”

“That would be me, yes.”

“… Is Remus there?” Patton continued incredulously.

“No,” laughed Janus, “He just left. And he kissed me, but don’t tell him, because I want to see how long it takes him to realize.”

“He _kissed_ you?” gasped Patton.

“Yes,” said Janus, smiling.

“Like, _actually_ kissed you?”

“Yes,” Janus repeated, smiling even wider, “And I’m currently holding the tablet, which is novel. You should tell Logan and Virgil to come over, I’m sure they’ll have a wonderful time figuring out what the hell is going on.”

Logan and Virgil arrived within half an hour, at which point Logan put him through all manner of experiments and Virgil muttered, “This is so fucking cool” about three dozen times under his breath.

“Well,” said Logan, “I can only theorize as to the cause, but- it seems you are truly able to be either corporeal or not, entirely at will.”

“And this has definitely never happened before?” said Virgil.

“Certainly not,” scoffed Janus, “I assure you, I would remember something as notable as this.”

Virgil socked him in the arm, grinning, which was almost as pleasant as Remus’s kiss had been in spite of technically being violence, and before he could think about it Janus had grabbed ahold of Virgil’s arm.

Logan’s eyes narrowed.

“… Janus,” he said cautiously.

“Hmm?”

“Would you like a hug?”

Janus wasn’t sure if the sting in his eyes was quite real enough for tears; he nodded.

Virgil opened his arms wide, and Janus carefully folded himself against his chest; Virgil wrapped both arms firmly around him, squeezing, and Janus felt so warm it was dizzying.

“… I believe I do have a theory now.”

“Hmm? Janus said again, floating in bliss.

“Well- at the risk of sounding entirely unscientific… The only variables here are the living people you have been surrounded by, which is currently us. Remus, Roman, Patton, Virgil, and myself.”

“And what’s different about us?” said Virgil, running his fingers through Janus’s hair and making him curl up even closer.

“We care about him,” said Logan quietly, “As a person. We _think_ of him as a person, not merely a nuisance apparition. It would explain why he grew more corporeal as he became close with Remus, and why our learning about his existence and growing to care about him has caused such an immediate uptick.”

“L, are you saying _love_ made Janus solid?”

Janus turned his head to look up at Logan, whose face was flushed.

“I suppose that is as accurate a summation of my theory as any.”

“Patton’s gonna love that,” said Virgil, setting his head on top of Janus’s, “He’s gonna give you so many hugs to keep you solid.”

“Oh no, what a nightmare.”

Patton did, in fact, find Janus’s newfound state of solidity-via-affection to be the best thing he’d ever heard, and made a concentrated effort to keep Janus “charged up” by folding him in hugs and squeezing his hand every time he came over. Janus didn’t lose a minute of time while Remus was gone, even when none of the four were there.

And true to their word to Janus, they hadn’t told Remus. Janus couldn’t help but be hopelessly amused when Monday arrived, and Remus had called no one in a fit of confusion, seemingly totally unaware of the way he’d completely changed Janus’s afterlife before walking out the door.

The front door opened, and Janus smiled to himself, making his way toward the foyer.

“Honey, I’m home,” Remus called in an over-affected transatlantic accent. Janus laughed as he stepped into the hall.

“Hey, babe,” said Remus, more seriously.

“Hello, dear,” said Janus fondly, before throwing his arms around Remus’s neck and kissing him square on the mouth.

Remus froze for a moment, before wrapping his arms firmly around Janus’s waist and pulling him so close Janus’s feet were barely touching the floor.

Breaking away with a gasp, Remus frantically pressing one hand firmly to Janus’s face.

“What- Jaybird, baby, what-”

“I’ll explain in a minute,” said Janus breathlessly, “Only I’ve just figured out that kissing you feels quite a bit like flying, so I’d appreciate it if we could do a bit more of that first.”

Remus let out a slightly hysterical laugh before sealing their mouths together again, and for the first time in a very long time, there was no room in Janus’s heart for anything except the merry thump of _happy, happy, happy._

**Author's Note:**

> you can also find me on tumblr @tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors, and this is gonna be a verse so feel free to ask me questions about it because im freaking STOKED


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